b'THE BIT AT THE ENDThis column is about the slingshot-related adventures you got into as a kid - or as a grown-up. This one is recent.AWe were locked in, with a pheasant on Volvo estate is ideal for nally squidged around the last bend. There getting up to no good in thewas a steel gate with a padlock.countryside. With dog guards as standard, they are respectedboard! Fifty yards on the other side of the by rural people. In country lanesfence line, a dog was barking maniacally you get greeted by locals as if you aught tofrom the garden of ane detached house. be there. In my old Volvo 960, I once turnedThere was still a lane to get down to escape into the wrong car park at a craft fair andto the road.was waved in as an exhibitor. Being a fatI have a tiny metal saw on my Swiss Army necked gammon I get taken for a harmlessknife. I once used it to cut my way out of bu oon in a Volvo and get largely ignored. Horsenden Hill car park. My car was locked An old Scooby or Suzuki Jeep byin, not understanding the park keepers comparison, raises calls to the rural crimewhistles. That gate bears evidence of a unit. dozen welds where its happened before. I will admit that I have done stujustThus, I purchased a professional hacksaw like those videos showing pheasants shotwith a very hard blade with spares kept in from van windows complete with All takenthe handle. Its been in my car ever since.on permission and in season quotes. YouStig panicked a bit. Myself, despite know, like leaving your hazardsashingquivering with fear, expecting the dog to when parked on a double yellow line. I toolaunch out of his garden and come bite us, have driven to quiet phezzidential lanesI remembered the hacksaw and ferreted it known to belled with wandering birds,out from under the bootoor.with Slingshot Stig. I am right hand hold, heWe carried on. This time, instead ofWorking like a man possessed, sweat is left, so it worked. Or it would if I couldturning around like my earlier recce, Idripping into my eyes, I beavered through a shoot straight. This was before I found thecrested the hill beyond the last house. Thesingle bar of mild steel gate and set us free pinch pouch. road became more of a downhill track. Theby bending it to slip othe padlock. Thing I drove a stupid distance to these laneslast resident who was gardening, looked up,is, I had made a thin cut and after going (I could have bought three brace for theconfused. I did the con dent and entitledthrough and closing the gate behind us, I petrol money) and Stig would bag onerelaxed face while Stig looked guilty as hell.bent the bar and the lock back into place so or two. This day we had already got oneWe plunged into the trees. the only evidence would be that slice.on board and had just met a seeminglyResident Confusion was justi ed, for theTo this day, I have not dared return to innocent other vehicle twice. Stopping totrack got wet and treacherous. My XC70 issee if it was ever found and welded and look at his phone. It was a huge pickupa 4x4 but not a real oroader and that is allthe bloke at the top of the hill must have with extra lamps clamped to a fat chromedthat could have gone back up that hill. wondered what ever became of us.roll cage. Fretting like hell about wanting tondI think I also went up in Slingshot Stigs Catapult competition! We drove tothe way out, slipping and gripping, weestimation.another place I had reconnoitred. Up a private estate road, passing imposing gates and wending our way up beyond big houses. The open woodland along the road was alive with wandering pheasants. After aFinal Quote: This boy is obviously sick and in need of help.Second Master Barling, HABS School assembly, Monday Oct 23rd 1978 after a complaint from the keeper that his release pen had been broken into. (We had our own entrance sneaky look around, I missed. and left it unzipped after running away. I still bear the barbed wire scars I got scarpering.)066 SlingshotWorld066 SSW006 adventures.indd 66 06/11/2022 14:34'